This so-called “addiction lie” is an unfortunate reality that often strains relationships between family members and their addicted loved ones. The confrontation would reveal an alcohol addiction and might make the person realize their need for treatment. The stress of confrontation can be overwhelming for someone with an addiction.
- This is somewhat controversial with some experts because it is not clear that this is beneficial or even a good idea in many cases.
- In fact, the sober alcoholic has an incredible propensity for success.
- Alcoholics Anonymous refers to, “the insanity of our disease.” This is a very literal statement.
However, even a mild disorder can escalate and lead to serious problems, so early treatment is important. A relapse can feel like failure1 for a person who has undergone treatment, and the alcoholic may be ashamed to admit that they have relapsed. Relapse leads them to feel badly about themselves, and it can also make them worry about negative judgment from others.
You can’t stop drinking unless you’re an “alcoholic.”
When someone reaches a crisis point, sometimes that’s when they finally admit they have a problem and begin to reach out for help. Lying might occur because people are no longer making rational decisions about their lives and their behavior. In other cases, they might be worried about the potential personal costs of being caught, such as losing their relationships or job. By not being forthcoming, people are able to then stay in denial about the problem. Mention in a kind and positive way what you would like to see happening instead of the addictive behavior, preferably before the addictive behavior becomes part of your routine. In this case, either avoid discussing the subject completely or simply state what you know happened, rather than going along with the lie.
Recognizing common lies can be instrumental in identifying individuals who are silently crying out for help. Addiction and substances alter reality for someone with alcohol addiction. The reality of the situation is often too painful to face, so the person may construct a reality where their drinking habits are not a problem. They might think, “I can stop drinking at any point.” In reality, they might drink to the point of blacking out every night. People who struggle with alcohol addiction may never have learned the skills to cope with life’s problems and struggles.
You might not recognize how much you drink or how many problems in your life are related to alcohol use. Listen to relatives, friends or co-workers when they ask you to examine your drinking habits or to seek help. Consider talking with someone who has had a problem with drinking but has stopped. If you’ve been covering up for your loved one and not talking about their addiction openly for a long time, it may seem daunting to reach out for help. However, it’s important to make sure you’re getting the support you need as well.
Consider carefully whether alcohol delivers on its promises.
In many cases, they can be both triggers for heavy drinking and consequences of it. Individuals grappling with these challenges may turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism, seeking temporary relief from their emotional distress. In a society that stigmatizes alcohol abuse and addiction, people who struggle with alcoholism may try to hide or cover up their disease to avoid judgment, among other reasons.
If family members try to “help” by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into their loved one’s denial game. Dealing with the problem openly and honestly is the best approach. If you have children, it’s important to protect them from unacceptable behavior as well. Do not tolerate hurtful or negative comments addressed towards them. For those who love someone living with an addiction, it is very difficult to sit back and let the crisis play out to its fullest extent. It’s common for someone with AUD to try to blame their drinking on circumstances or others around them, including those who are closest to them.
Lying might seem like the best method for delaying or escaping conflict. However, this avoidance can lead to further misunderstandings and damage in relationships. Mental health conditions like depression or anxiety disorders are frequently seen alongside substance abuse problems.
Getting someone with an addiction to talk about treatment options is not easy. However, once you manage to break through the lies and manipulation, it may become possible to have a frank discussion. That discussion will be most productive if you have something to bring to the table. Rather than just asking if they have thought about treatment, it’s best to be specific and share the information you have gathered about types of treatment and places they can go to get it. Sometimes, something as simple as saying no can help you avoid drug and alcohol addiction mind games.
Coping With the Dishonesty That Comes From An Alcoholic
People who deal with alcoholism may try to hide or cover up their sickness in a society that stigmatizes alcohol usage and addiction, among other reasons. If you’re not familiar with alcoholic beverages, for example, you may not know what a standard drink looks like. The person may use this information to make a very strong, intoxicating drink while insisting to you they’ve “only had one! ” If you can identify signs and symptoms of usage, you can keep the person from trying to pull the wool over your eyes and can point out that they really do need treatment. The cycle of addictive behavior patterns usually contains a period where the addicted individual gives the appearance of changing for the better. They may suddenly seem contrite, sorry and genuinely remorseful — when in reality, this is just another tactic to keep you emotionally vulnerable and off-guard.
- The disease affects neurochemistry, and alcoholics typically refuse to believe they have an alcohol use disorder.
- For a person with severe alcohol use disorder, lying becomes a way of life because consuming alcohol has become the most important part of their lives.
- It makes no sense at all that someone would ruin their life, health, and relationships by getting drunk.
- A person who has an addiction may simply be in denial that their behavior is a problem.
- Theories suggest that for certain people drinking has a different and stronger impact that can lead to alcohol use disorder.
Understanding why people who struggle with alcoholism often lie about their drinking can be challenging. Often, this is to protect the fact that they have an addiction to alcohol or to hide the severity of it. It’s important to remember that each person’s journey with alcoholism is unique. Avoiding confrontation is another reason why people struggling with alcoholism lie. They may fear that their loved ones will react with disappointment, anger or blame if they learn the truth about their drinking behaviors.
Other ways to get help include talking with a mental health professional or seeking help from a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or a similar type of self-help group. People struggling with alcoholism often lie to escape the consequences of their actions. They may fear that admitting to their addiction will lead to negative evaluations at work, serious conversations with their doctor or interpersonal problems. However, lying doesn’t prevent a person from experiencing the consequences of heavy drinking; it only delays them.
Lying To Hide a Relapse
Understanding the reasons behind the lying is crucial for both the person struggling with alcoholism and their loved ones. It offers a compassionate lens through which to view behavior that is often met with anger and betrayal. This understanding can also be the foundation upon which trust is slowly rebuilt, making the journey toward recovery a collective endeavor rather than a solitary struggle. Don’t look the other way when a loved one lies to you, but don’t be rude or get defensive either. Help your loved one see the consequences of their lies, and create a supportive environment where they feel comfortable telling you the truth. Additionally, you can call The Recovery Village to speak to a representative about alcohol rehab for your loved one and receive guidance in this difficult situation.
The act of making amends is supposed to help clear the conscience of the recovering alcoholic, not to make the recipient of the amends satisfied that they have finally received an apology. If you have a loved one who is now attending AA meetings, you may be aware of the 12 steps, and particularly the ninth step. One of the steps is intended to help the recovering alcoholic to make amends to people whom they have wronged. This is somewhat controversial with some experts because it is not clear that this is beneficial or even a good idea in many cases.
There may be very little you can do to help someone with AUD until they are ready to get help, but you can stop letting someone’s drinking problem dominate your thoughts and your life. It’s OK to make choices that are good for your own physical and mental https://sober-house.net/ health. Many family members of someone struggling with alcohol dependency try everything they can think of to get their loved one to stop drinking. Unfortunately, this usually results in leaving those family members feeling lonely and frustrated.
If you don’t understand how this emptiness drives people back into their addictive behavior, they will tune in to that and lie to shut you up. An addiction such as alcohol use disorder eco sober house price can cause damage to parts of the brain such as the frontal lobe. Such damage has been shown to increase the potential for deviant behavior such as increased risk-taking or lying.